I apologize if you are searching for my Day 11 post – which was yesterday and I totally forgot about it! I went to yoga last night and came home and relaxed and forgot I didn’t write my piece. So I am skipping it and just carrying on with today’s post.
Today’s writing challenge is a stream of consciousness writing with the first thing that we said to ourselves when we woke this morning. Considering, I do not look at myself upon waking…ever…I just hope out of bed and head downstairs to start my day. I don’t look at myself until well into the morning usually ~ but there are thoughts that go through my mind before I wake. Anyway, here is today’s stream of consciousness (writing without stopping or editing).
This morning I looked in the mirror and thought “ I am a mother of 3 and still feel like I am in my twenties.” I often think that motherhood freezes our brains – kind of like some freaky episode of Bill & Ted’s Excellent Adventure. I remember after I had my first daughter then 3 years later another baby and then 2 years later another baby and then last summer it hit me that I still wasn’t 26 years old anymore. I actually aged in between all those children. So, in the midst of all the diaper changes, obtaining a Master’s Degree, learning to breastfeed, running an online and retail business in my home, volunteering on various Boards of Directors and trying to run a house and family…I got older! Man, when did that happen?!! You mean to tell me that the clothes I wore when I was 26 years old are not the fashions of a now almost 36 year old woman, now closer to 40 than 30?
I think that it could be a cruel trick to play on us mother’s, this ‘brain freeze’ that happens when we are in baby-land, where one day just melds into the other because we have such a lack of sleep and only one thing on our minds—-our baby! I honestly don’t know how many more babies I would have had, had the decision not been made for me. It’s like you get in this routine of just having a baby, nursing him/her, nurturing, growing, loving and everything child/baby related, until one day you realize 10 years have gone by! Well, that is how I see it anyway. So, today when I looked in the mirror and realized I may feel like I am still twenty-something, I am not. What I am though is a strong, independent, thirty-something woman with great kids a wonderful partner and a great life. A life that I would never trade for anything – even if it were ten extra years.
This post is part of the Health Activist Writer’s Challenge hosted by WEGO Health.